A
few immediate points for parents of a member of a potentially
destructive group:
Your child would most likely not be where they are if they
did not believe it to be a good and peaceful/spiritual movement.
The real information has been deliberately hidden and perhaps
your child is on the outer-layer and sees only the "good
activities" of the group.
Record all names, addresses, phone numbers of persons known
to be associated in any way with your child's activities.
Maintain a written chronology of events associated with your
child's activities related to the group.
Answer all communications from your child in sincere, firm
but un-recriminating language.
Be in touch with former members of the particular group and
network with parents who have or had their child in the same
or similar group.
Collect related items from newspapers, magazines and other
sources.
Keep your cool. Avoid threats. Be firm but remain open for
communication at all times. That includes excepting collect
calls from your child, be it day or night. He or she may be
in trouble and reaching out to you for help.
File a written complaint with the District Attorney, County
Prosecutor and other public officials.
Don't send money to your child or to the group. Many times
the money goes directly to the leadership. Without economic
support the group cannot survive. A gift certificate for necessities
would be more useful to the individual and less likely to
end up in the leaderships hands.
Don't give original documents to anyone unless required by
law. Give copies only. Make copies of all letters you send
to your child.
Keep all "anti-cult" material out of sight if you
know that your child may be hurt knowing you are doing research
"behind his back" and may distance himself as a
result.
Don't be persuaded by people who claim that your situation
is black and white and that they will have your kid out in
a flash. It's not that easy. Life is not black and white,
as cults tend to paint reality. Take your time, assess the
situation, and review your options carefully and thoroughly.
Don't give up. Remember your child is a product of your love,
training, heredity and home environment. These influences
can never be permanently eliminated by any technique.
Don't feel guilty or alone. You are not. This is a rampant
problem. It affects families of all religious, ethnic, economic
and family backgrounds.
